{"product_id":"comfort-colors®-socially-retired-effective-immediately-shirt","title":"Comfort Colors® Socially Retired Effective Immediately Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e📋 Please be advised: effective immediately, this person is no longer accepting social obligations. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe small talk. The group chats. The events marked \"maybe\" that were always going to be a no. The birthday parties, the networking mixers, the \"we should really catch up soon\" conversations that were never going to happen anyway. All of it — retired. Effective immediately. No severance package required. No farewell party necessary. In fact, especially no farewell party.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🎨 THEME \u0026amp; STYLE\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• Theme: Introvert humor \/ antisocial lifestyle — socially retired, unbothered, done with people\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• Occasion: Everyday wear, gift giving, birthdays, holidays\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• Style: Deadpan graphic tee and sweatshirt for the proud introvert who has officially clocked out of society\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🎁 MAKES A GREAT GIFT FOR:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• Proud introverts and antisocial humans everywhere\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• Anyone who's quietly been done with people for years\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• Homebodies, hermits, and happy solo lifers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• Birthdays, holidays, or \"just because\" moments\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e👕 T-SHIRT SPECS\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• Blank: Comfort Colors® 1717 Garment-Dyed Heavyweight T-Shirt\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• Material: 6.1 oz.\/yd² — 100% ring-spun cotton, 30 singles\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• Dyeing Process: Garment-dyed after construction for a soft, lived-in feel and almost no shrinkage at home\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• Fabric Treatment: Soft-washed for that authentic vintage look right out of the bag\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• Construction: Double-needle collar, armhole, sleeve, and bottom hems; twill-taped neck and shoulders\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• Label Type: Signature twill label\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• Fit: Relaxed unisex fit — see size chart for measurements\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• Available Colors: See listing photos — printed on a curated selection of Comfort Colors' most popular shades\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• Available Sizes: S, M, L, XL, 2XL, 3XL, 4XL\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• Decoration: DTF (Direct to Film) heat transfer — vibrant, wash-resistant print that won't crack or peel\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• Personalization: Not available on this listing — message us for custom orders!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• Certifications: Made with OEKO-TEX certified low-impact dyes — free from harmful substances; proud member of the U.S. Cotton Trust Protocol\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧺 CARE INSTRUCTIONS\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMachine wash cold, inside out. Tumble dry low. Do not iron directly on design. Do not bleach. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🎨 CUSTOM ORDERS \u0026amp; COLORS\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe choose the colors that look best with our designs. Don't see the color you want? Send us a message — we're happy to help with custom colors or custom orders.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e────────────────────────────────\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThank you so much for visiting our small business page! It truly means the world to us. 🌲\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBe sure to check out our website for more: Deadpanoutdoorsco.com\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e~ Denise\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDeadpan Outdoors Co. | Caffeinated. Unfiltered. Unbothered.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"AnywherePOD","offers":[{"title":"Moss \/ S","offer_id":47838332485790,"sku":"apod-10756147","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Moss \/ M","offer_id":47838332518558,"sku":"apod-10756157","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Moss \/ L","offer_id":47838332551326,"sku":"apod-10756163","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Moss \/ XL","offer_id":47838332584094,"sku":"apod-10756166","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Moss \/ 2XL","offer_id":47838332616862,"sku":"apod-10756174","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Moss \/ 3XL","offer_id":47838332649630,"sku":"apod-10756178","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Moss \/ 4XL","offer_id":47838332682398,"sku":"apod-10756184","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Espresso \/ 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